Monday, January 22, 2007
BAD MOOD. long time since I've been in such a foul mood. zzz.
I just need to rant.
1. my stomach has been seriously hurting for the entire day. so painful I felt like fainting in the bathroom
2. nausea.
3. I need to write 10 news articles for Radio tmr
4. T-Line test tmr when we only had..20 mins worth of lesson on it? joke.
5. I need to lug a 3.5 kg laptop to school tmr. N it's barely functioning. lags like hell n many keys can't be pressed. congrats.
6. I end at 10 pm tmr.
7. I'm freaking tired and hungry.
8. SOMEONE did NOT turn up for WISP AGAIN today. she only turned up for the presentation last week in order to ensure tat she gets marks. UNFAIR UNFAIR. n she's missed about FIVE lessons and ALL OUR MEETINGS.
9. Radio talkshow test tmr. 30 mins. best part. I haven't got an interview. I'm going to effing fail.
10. Lum XiangRong said "HURRY UP HURRY UP HURRY UP can I off the lights now?" to me in the darkroom at 10 sec intervals for 10 mins. successfully made everyone in the darkroom pissed off with him.
11. my bag SPOILED!!! bloody Fila. so lousy.
holy hell.
n to YOU:
ok so u tink u're great. u're fantastic. whutever ok. but u're in no position to PUT ME DOWN. n tell me stuff like I'm not worth it n I'm not loyal etc etc. I have no idea WADS ur problem n why the HECK u're so judgemental, opinionated, chauvinistic n so MISGUIDED tat u tink wadever u say is CORRECT. "tat's the way..it's lidat UNIVERSALLY.." right. so u r always right n everyone is always wrong. great. so tell me why do so many ppl dislike u? I've always defended u to other ppl but now I'm beginning to see WHY. if I weren't nice in the first place den WHY did u stay with me for 17 months? n just becos I said I dun wanna be with u right away u tell me I OWE U MONEY.
OH COME ON.
in tat case u owe me MUCH MUCH MORE. for all the times when I cried until all my energy was spent. for the occasions I spent travelling to n fro to ur house which takes TWO HOURS. practically almost EVERYDAY. WAITING HOURS for u when u can't even wait FIVE FREAKING MINUTES for me. sacrificing my sleep just to accompany u. reassure u constantly tat u were all I ever needed.
n u wanna count money? CAB FARE from ur place back home. $18+ per trip. almost FOUR times a week. cos I stayed so late just to spend 1-2 hours more with u.
$18 x 4 = $72 per week
$72 x 4 = $288 per month
$288 x 17 = $4896 for the time tat we were together
SO ARE YOU GOING TO PAY ME TAT AMOUNT? if not..SHUTUP. childish n ungentlemanly.
I willingly did all tat n barely even complained. BUT YOU DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT AT TAT TIME. SO WHO ARE YOU NOW TO TELL ME TAT I'M NOT WORTH ANYTHING. FUCK THAT.
who did ur homework for u while u went to game? ME
who cheered u up when u were down? ME
who takes notes for u? ME
who reminds u of ur schedule? ME
who sits there for ages n ages waiting for u? ME
who buys u stuff just to surprise u? ALSO ME
who tolerates ur foul temper? ME
who listens to everything u say? STUPID ME
I bought u slippers when I saw urs were spoiling..bought u a new gaming mouse cos urs was dying..ordered WC3 battlechest for u cos I saw how much u wanted it..gave u my spectacles cos u needed it..bought the more expensive camera n let u have the cheaper one cos u couldn't afford it..bought u the tie u wanted n went all the way back to school cos I saw how much u liked it..gave up ALL MY TIME..frens n family cos of YOU.
yet it was never enough.
n u DARE tell me I LET YOU DOWN.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING.
the times when my mom was screaming at me. I called u hoping just to hear a nice word but I get scolded by u instead. the times when I call u just to chat. but u're playing ur effing game. get shouted n growled at instead. the times when I WAS BUSY AT WORK N I REALLY COULDN'T KNOCK OFF EARLY. instead of being understanding u tell me tat nothing is more important than YOU even if it means failing attachment n I should just get my ass fired instead. the times when I was sooooooooo super tired. you got angry with me FOR FALLING ASLEEP.
in fact u get angry with me over EVERYTHING DAMNED THING.
so it's MY FAULT tat I just CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE?
so u dun have a conscience. YOU ARE GOD OK. I SUCK OK? NVM. get urself a gf who can do such stuff for u n tolerate all the HEARTACHE tat u put me through.
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*The Terminal is such a sweet n poignant show..I felt hot tears burning at the back of my eyes several times throughout the movie..super super nice n touching..
it tugged at my heartstrings..
